Merriam-Webster defines the word uncertain as follows, indefinite; not reliable; not know beyond a doubt.
This is how I am feeling. For quite some time I have been uncertain about events that are happening around me. I am not certain how I feel about them. I am not certain that I want to do anything about them.
Nervous: marked by strength of thought, feeling or style.
Maybe this describes me better. Maybe I am uncertain AND nervous. That kind of combination is a recipe for a very odd situation. Perhaps awkward even. How do you deal with this kind of situation? Well, I tend to avoid.
Avoid: to keep away from; to depart or withdraw from.
This is how I deal with it. Well, how I like to deal with it...by just avoiding it. After talking to my husband and hearing a very convicting sermon by our pastor, I am learning that avoidance is perhaps not the best plan of attack.
A week or so ago our pastor did a sermon on The Roadblocks to a Flourishing Life. One of the points that he made was that we should not be avoiding cross-like experiences, using Luke 4:1-12 as a reference point.
This is the point of Jesus' life where he was in the desert being tempted by Satan. We are so used to instant gratification in this day and age with all the cell phones, text messages, im's, and emails. If that isn't bad enough we have credit cards, loans, and store credits. We are constantly bombarded with information on the radio, tv and internet. But what if any of this interferes with your life flourishing in God? What if this is a roadblock for you in living your life for God? What if being constantly bombarded is hindering your happiness?
So what does avoidance have to do with my nervousness? Well, by being nervous I avoid. By avoiding I am preventing myself from flourishing in God. I am standing in my own way! I have a visual image of me, standing in front of me. And just as if in a mirror, if I step left, I step left and right, right. If I try and go forward, I make myself stand still, or move back. I need to let it go. I need to let God do HIS thing, and allow myself to flourish.